For instance, most of 2 decades later... in my achy and over-medicated state of being... I probably wouldn’t think to subtitle the site “The Joys of Hot Pepper Juice Masturbation”. But, you know, I’m glad I thought of it back then because in many ways it is appropriate.
Yes, I did literally write about those joys in the 90s. Hot pepper juice was referenced a couple of times in my short story “Without Pain, Without Death”. I also remember reviewing a novel that referenced it in Cyber-Psychos AOD. And, you know, people who like spicy food sometimes accidentally discover, after they’ve been slicing jalapenos, that hot pepper juice on their fingers can lead to interesting effects. *shrug* It happens far more often than you might think.
I also wrote often about sexual trauma issues and drugs in the 90s. And about self-mutilation and/or self-destruction (yes, I do believe the 2 things can be independent of each other) on a personal level. And about reveling in the Fiery Rain when Giant Sentient Space Jellies flay all of our sorry asses off the planet, like we damn well deserve (Cnidaria).
You can also see a small number of pictures (I need to relocate more) from my Death Equinox torture readings, where it might be said that I (*cough*) made a particularly strong effort at getting my points across about self-mutilation and/or self-destruction.
It’s been a long time since I’ve done a torture reading or even self-mutilated, but it’s all a formative aspect of my psyche.
The subtitle also applies to many other things, on, to varying degrees, a more abstract level. We are living in a society where people manage to have some beers and revel in their sports teams while we’re being poisoned by corporations that are too big to fight, after all. To be fair, my mental masochism probably has me reveling in all of the things I revile in the world. You can see some of that “reveling” sampled on this site.
I think you can boil the previous several paragraphs down to “I’m just not as kinky as I was 2 decades ago” or “Now that I’ve resorted to being doped up on pharmaceuticals, because it was that or die fast, I’m a more boring person than I used to be”. Maybe I didn’t get that last point across, but it is indeed true. I haven’t become a jealous, bitter, “cool it, you rowdy kids” kind of person as a result. I’m a “*sigh* I used to have that much fun” nostalgic kind of person.
But obviously I had a lot of unfun times in my life as well, and I will slowly write about more of them if, for nothing else, the sake of others who are going through similar difficult times. I do not have a fondness for pretending all is well in the world.
Many of my websites fell into a state of abandonment after the 90s (at least one hasn’t been liberated from the 90s at all yet, and almost all of the sites are in a crossover state). Fiction and article excerpts/entireties are from the 90s. Thoughts entries are more current, they’re like hastily written random topic editorials. That section will soon be joined by one about thoughts I have while reading books, watching movies, etc. The links to other sites at the bottom of the main page are updated reasonably regularly.
Obviously I haven’t entirely integrated with the age of social media yet. These web sites began in vi on a unix shell, designed for viewing with lynx... and then, a little later, got some random touch-ups and new habits for (actual images and designs!) viewing with Netscape (which everyone fondly referred to as Nutscrape). Somewhere along the way I started using Notepad instead of vi, and that’s been the big upgrade of my dinosaur habits. ;)
I’m slowly but steadily working on things. But I won’t be changing the website subtitle, or pretending I didn’t take drugs, self-mutilate, or get scarified and set on fire in front of an audience while reading self-destructive erotica. People in desperate times need desperate ways of coping, that’s no less true now than it was in the 90s. And, besides, I’m just not that classy.
Either enjoy the inconsistencies and anachronisms, or enjoy looking at them funny. Personally, I do both.
Back to my Ode to God index.