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St. Sailing on Masturbation
(or Is it OK to Fuck One's Own Self?)

Earlier today, this very issue arose. Why? Because someone believed it to be a necessary course of action for St. Hemmingson. I noted that the Angel of Nod does indeed fuck himself often, and even takes pleasure in the act. I also noted that the scriptures say such action is indeed OK. That if you cannot be fucked to death by the searing tentacles of Jellyfish, you can at least make do with whatever you have on-hand.

And now here I sit, after over twelve hours have passed. Simultaneously, a few minutes prior to now, two posts came through the newsgroup. One was about Buddy, and one was about St. Stadt's hot young body. I pondered this overwhelming stimulus, whilst also sitting across the room from another computer which happens to have delightful photos on-screen of Gene Santagada and I at the Death Equinox '98 play piercing demo, full of needles, and I realized that right now might be a good time for fully affirming the Cnidarian stance on the act of fucking one's own self.

Admittedly, as a hazard of my lines of work, I sometimes find myself on my office floor or leaning too far back in my chair. This has happened as a result of my writing anything from Jellyfish Erotica to stories about mutilating one's own self to death. Either way, I wind up suddenly developing the need to just do something about that feeling growing in my... well, never mind. On with the Sermon.

Cnidaria smiles upon masturbation. In fact, they endorse it! The Great Jellyfish would not be the least bit put out if people became more reliant upon it and therefore began failing to reproduce. In fact, they would undoubtedly rejoice if such a thing were to happen! And, to top it all off, Bud the MothMan once informed me of his happening to possess a sincere belief that frequent masturbation actually makes humans at least a little bit less hostile and deranged.

Of course none of this is intended to insinuate that the Jellyfish would smile upon us for, say, masturbating Mormons, or even that they would encourage us to forsake our rights to Buddy (not to be confused with Bud), but...

Yes, please do feel free to fuck yourself!

Operative J, The Blasted One


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