No.
It is none of these.
Friends,
Kansas is flat because it is a cursed place. An old place, where terrible transgressions against the Sacred Jellyfish were committed eons ago. A place
that had to be cleansed. To be purged. To be struck down. Where every trace of the
pestilence and desecration had to be wiped clean down to the bedrock itself. In
fact, the ‘flat’ you see now is only the result of millennia upon millennia of regeneration
upon this blasted land. After the Jellies took their terrible toll upon this site it
was in fact the epicenter of a huge crater that would now reach from the depths of Oklahoma to
the western parts of Iowa. So great was the scourging that needed to happen that chasm upon
chasm was gouged out of the Earth until no trace of that sacrilege could be found.
Friends,
Don’t ask what these terrible acts were. Don’t ask how they came to happen. Don’t even ask exactly how the Jelly Space Lords enacted this required ablation. Such things are too
much for mortal minds and stomachs to fathom. Just know that it has happened in the past and
it will happen again in the future. Keep ever vigilant and pure of heart and spirit and
perhaps, just perhaps, you will not have to bear witness to a repeat of the terrible fate that
Kansas bore.
Friends,
Go with peace.
St. Young, Operative B