Critics of the First Church of Cnidaria are obviously fooled and deceived by our mortal enemies: Followers of the Octopi Eye, as well as the Brotherhood of the Whiny Monster and the Anti-LSD Church.
We must keep our church -- also known as the LSD (Latter Sincere Death) Church -- strong; and those who try to dissuade me will fail in their wanton efforts; and they shall say, "He went with Jas," and they shall be right.
For I know, truthfully, what is waiting on the other side -- Our Blasted Lady will be standing side by side with the Prophets Yeshua, Moses, and Ezekiel, along with the Modern Prophets Jim Henson, Charles Bukowski, and Philip K. Dick, all lovingly embraced by the eternal-reaching tentacles of the Space Jellies.
Michael, the Angel of Nod