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St. Klock on Borgoplex
(or Clarifying Virgin Bride Misunderstandings)

Many months (or even years now) ago I lost my beard in penance to my fellow Cnidarians and the Sacred Axe in reference to mental transmissions that I had been receiving from a strange galaxy that (unlike other galaxies) appears to be exploding. Located in the constellation Ursa Major, known locally as M82, it neighbors "normal" spiral galaxy M81 -- both about 12 million light years away. My mind encountered strange images of beautiful yet very eerie images of great fields of linoleum, oceans of vinyl, clouds of mercury vapor, all populated by strange and diverse lifeforms in a complex ecosystem that in many ways reminded me of the behavior of machines -- rather than "normal" lifeforms.

Chief among these creatures were hyper intelligent, vinyl, spider-like creatures seeming to call themselves Borgoplex. The drastic strangeness of these creatures and their world and, for that matter, their entire freaked out galaxy, alarmed my fellow Cnidarians and caused a number of misunderstandings for them as well as myself leading to the eventual loss of my beard. The biggest misunderstandings were largely due to obvious differences in (unnatural to this Cnidarian planet) chemical composition and their friendly-hostility toward earth.

First of all the chemical differences are merely just that: vinyl may be somewhat toxic to us, simple water is toxic to them. Secondly their friendliness is merely their curiosity toward our world, while their hostility is directed toward humanity alone.

They say that any lifeform that does not possess the cleverness to create technologies that leave no trace of themselves (note the Space Jellyfish left no trace of themselves) is a tragic aberration and must be exterminated partially out of extreme sadistic prejudice, partially out of mercy -- avoiding letting them spoil their world for the next species of life forms that develop the brains and appendages to control their environment.

They also claim that this is the general opinion of hundreds of intelligent lifeforms throughout the seven neighboring galaxies. Moreover they know of the Jellies’ return and calmly assure us that if the Fiery Rain of Cnidocytes weren't headed our way, that they would be happy to come over and slowly put us out of our misery in an excruciatingly painful fashion. But, as it is, we’re not worth their time.

(And for what it is worth, they claim their galaxy exploding is a natural occurrence -- thus they do not interfere, they merely adapted).

Operative G, The De-Bearded One


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