Many have wondered how, by the standards of my other endeavors, I can commit such an ILLEGAL ATROCITY as negatively stereotyping all existing Mormons. Don’t I supposedly HATE blanket stereotypes and encourage tolerating a variety of perspectives? Well, my dear children and lovers of Jellies, the answer is simple: I am perpetrating this act of prejudice within a religion... so it doesn't count!
While it is generally unspeakable for me to conduct myself and my diplomatically recruitorial wordings in such manners, it is even more unspeakable to not declare mortal enemies and biases within a religion — or even moreso within a church! And it would be yet worse to live in tolerance of those whom have so clearly aligned themselves against the Wisdom of Cnidaria.
There was a time when we remained silent in regards to the evils of the Church of Latter Day Saints, but inevitably any quiet church begins to find itself crushed under the weight of oppression (not to mention the phenomenal absurdity of applauding the LDS instead of LSD). Had we not promptly begun to defend ourselves, and to discredit those heathenous masses, we would have betrayed the Blessed Cnidaria by allowing the followers of the false JS to solely exert their power over a world which is not theirs.
As devout religious followers, it is also our Sacred Duty to determine who amongst the lost children of this world have scrambled the signals and given the wrong names and interpretations to the visions bestowed upon them by the Almighty Jellyfish. And, naturally, to correct their path. To FORCE the whole deluded lot of them to amend the errors of their ways. Or at least to nag them into heading in that general direction.
Yes, we who understand these visions swirling as multi-coloured tentacles and nifty patterns in our brains KNOW what lies on the other side of the veil. And, quite frankly, we know it's pretty silly to believe it's some dude named Joe. Peer more closely, oh ye devout Mormons, and ye shall see that what awaits ye there is not the silhouette of a two-limbed beast — but the considerably more intricately patterned silhouettes of our numerous-tentacled Gods and Saviours and Destructors.
See it now! Or we shall be forced to continue to say mean bigoted things about you.
Operative J, Better Than ANY Mormon