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St. Zone on The 12 Steps to Cnidaria
(or How do You Serve as Our Puppets?)

Here are 12 things YOU can do today to get closer to Cnidaria:

1. Get on the newsgroup. Make noise.

2. Learn something about a mode You've never tried. In Her Holiness' case, it's the digital modes -- all 8 legs of Vinegarette...

3. You're here to communicate. When someone asks, "Is that an axe?", explain that it really is, what You can do with it, and why one would use it. Ensure that people adhere to wholesome Cnidarian Values.

4. Upgrade, if possible.

5. Go mobile. Make Yourself visible. St. Hemmingson received a lot of weird looks when undergrads asked to see the 13-foot tall antenna under His belt. But when asked, "Would you like to know what that monster antenna is for?", they usually said "Yes, but I was afraid to ask."

6. Try some outdoor events: surely You saw Don Webb do The Flog Afield, a type of field event at Death Equinox, didn't You? He put up a 20-foot continuously loaded .22 whip on a 32-foot mast in the middle of a field. No fewer than a dozen people, including a bunch of 12-14 year-olds, came by to take a look.

7. Lose Your shyness about Your Faith. Most people these days are clueless about Cnidaria. Be a Cnidarian emissary. Be their first exposure to The Jellyfish, so they can develop some positive ideas about Cnidarians before someone else gets to them.

8. Stick a fork in a toaster in front of a crowd of kids. They do think it's cool (trust me). Hand 'em the fork and see if they're unimpressed. Explain how riffels work and how to construct one. Do a mid-air demo. Then explain how We use pedestrians, followed by taking aim off of a highway overpass.

10. If flush, make enough gargleblaster kits for that same group of (by now dazed) kids. Remember that Absinthe is mysterious to most people -- and that's its attraction. Play the mystery for all it's worth, then show them how to 'solve' it.

11. Do public sexual events and wear your whip marks proudly. Crank up the voltage on your appliances only when employing electrocution.

12. Talk enthusiastically to new victims. Your attitude goes a long way toward filling the coffers...

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