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(Excerpt from Snuff Flique by Michael Hemmingson

by Michael Hemmingson

...the darkness was lit up with dusty
glare in the shapes of jellyfish.
-William T. Vollmann
You Bright and Risen Angels


-and, O my dark and fallen tadpoles, it became so clear, like liquid heroin in a nasal spray, that night me and the Clan dropped acid and went to see A Clockwork Orange at the local arty-farty movie flique house. It wasn't the sort of place we usually went to see movies, or I went to see movies, but they were showing this cinema I loved-that I had always loved-it had been two years since I'd seen it because I'd lost the video I had. Dunno where I lost it, I'm always losing things-have lost a lot of things in my twenty-two long years of life here under the Jellyfish. Anyway, I was feeling pretty lissome after the ocular excitement-felt something old inside me that'd been hibernating (maybe left for dead) waking up and whispering into my ear: Yes yes yes. Maybe it was the Jellyfish, or the bidding of these Gods, because the Jellyfish are behind everything. The Jellyfish, I'm sure, told Stanley Kubrick to make this movie, because Jellyfish do this sort of thing.

There we were, my Jellyfish Clan of the time-my new girlfriend, Kia, and Oscar and Tito and BobBobBob and his squeeze HoHoHo, a small and pretty little trollop like my Kia was a tall and pretty trollop; and Oscar and Tito were playing and sucking each other's cocks because that's the kind of guys they were-and so there we were on acid and communing with the higher order of the Jellyfish and still racing on head thoughts of A Clockwork Orange and Malcolm McDowell and his fun-loving compatriots and we were leaving the movie theater still jazzed on the nectar of the Jellyfish and feeling good and heading out to the car and thinking (in chorus because our minds were now connected) that what we really needed to do was do something awful and bad, something horrible-to other people; the only way to prove your existence is to bring terror, fear, and death onto others-and you just have to face it: that's just the kind of world we live in.

Maybe this was just a Jellyfish-wish between us all; and as we got into BobBobBob's car there seemed something quite inevitable about the night. BobBobBob was behind the wheel and HoHoHo was next to him and my squeeze Kia and I were squeezed in the back with Oscar and Tito, Tito sitting in Oscar's lap because that's where he liked to be the most, and Oscar was stroking his hair and whispering those sweet how-de-dos that lovers like to do and Kia took my hand and we were all one within the Jellyfish; and I said, "Drive fast, BobBobBob," and Kia agreed and HoHoHo reached to touch her man and said, "Yes, let's go fast," to which BobBobBob nodded his head in eager approval, his foot doing the floor thing so that the wheels of his mean machine screamed out and there was the smell of fried rubber behind us as we went into the night, leaving A Clockwork Orange behind and finding the groove and niche of our own shattered and dull lives at the end of the Twentieth Century, amen.


-but let's cut all this preface material and get down to some depraved sex and violence, okay? This is why you are here, listening to me now, my dismal and receded sea-urchins; you have come here to know about the underbelly of the Jellyfish-and I know you well, as you are enraptured with the repellent fantasies of your grey matter. But this is no fancy, this is no fiction; this is true, this is the way it was and is and shall always be, yessiree. I am the truth, and I am the way-this is something I understood that fatal night some years ago as the Jellyfish whispered their secret code into my earholes.

Anyway, so there we were, my little kangaroos and I, driving fast in BobBobBob's car with the music really loud, a CD of Front 242 smashing away, and how good I felt at that moment: this is something I will never be able to accurately describe to you.

I saw it up ahead on the road first-the Jellyfish had given me extraordinary eyesight that evening, and combined with the acid, it was all the more better. There was a car stranded on the side of the road and two girls leaning against it. It was a white car, dirty and needing a wash, and these girls looked about the same-white, dirty, needing a wash. They had that neo-hippie presentation-torn and faded jeans, sandals, long soiled hair and spaced-out looks in their eyes and on their faces, with Indians beads around their necks, or some such shit like that. We stopped, of course, because they seemed to be in need of assistance. I knew something at that moment, and knew it was going on in the mind's of my associates. The Jellyfish, in their Web-like manner, had brought us to these two human beings. If I haven't told you about The Web and how the Jellyfish control this Web, I will soon enough-

The six of us got out to get near these two lasses. "Oh, hey, hi, cool you stopped," both of them said; I wasn't quite sure who was saying what. One was rather pretty, with blonde hair, and the other was average, with freckles and reddish-hair. Both were very skinny like they hadn't eaten in weeks, or had been up a long time on crack or crystal-meth or something interesting along those lines.

"Having problems?" BobBobBob asked.

Oscar and Tito giggled and held onto each other like monkeys in the zoo-having fun flinging their own shit around.

"It died," the red-head said dully, with a shrug, shrugging at the white car that needed a wash.

"Dunno what's wrong with it," the blonde said, also shrugging like she was born to shrug. "Dunno anything about cars. I was driving and suddenly it went ka-pooey."

"Do it do it do it," I think Kia was saying in my ear-but that really wasn't her voice. No, it was the Jellyfish, they were talking to me from their orbital position out in space.

"Well, my pal here knows about cars," and BobBobBob was indicating me, "maybe he can take a look under the hood." "Could you?" The blonde glanced at me.

Kia hissed.

"Sure," I said.

I went to the white car, opened the door, popped the hood, went to the front and looked at the engine. Kia was dancing around with Oscar and Tito and BobBobBob was holding hands with HoHoHo and the two skinny girls with dirty hair and skin stared at me with their jaws hung open.

"Come here," I said to the blonde.

"Whaaat?" she went.

Oh, my wiggling and squirming guppies, the Jellyfish were singing loud songs of puppetry at this point, the Jellyfish were guiding me strong and true. I motioned for the blonde to come to the car and take a look. "I want to show you what's wrong with your car," I said, "why it died like that. You'll learn something, call this an education."

"Oh, okay," she said, walked over to me. She looked at the engine and all its connecting cables, connected like the sticky yummy tentacles of the Jellyfish that connected me to my Clan. "What?" she said.

"There," I said, pointing. "Get down there and take a real close look and you'll see what I mean." The blonde hitched up her jeans, which were falling down. She bent over, her jeans slid down again, so that the crack of her thin white ass showed. She glanced at the engine. "What am I supposed to be looking at?"

"Well, you have problems all right," I said, slamming the hood down hard on her. "In fact, you're fucked."

I liked the cracking sound that came from the hood, the result of impact with the upper part of her back-the tone reverberated in my mind and made the Jellyfish do a mosh. The girl screamed and groaned, and this was all the more better, for her screams were in true color. Her body wriggled and tried to get free but I had my hand and weight on the hood and wouldn't let her go. Her face was pressed into the engine block and I think I saw blood somewhere in there, or maybe it was just a vision.

The other girl, this partner, was slow to register all this, and by the time she did and started to move-to get away-Oscar and Tito and my beloved Kia had her pinned to the ground. She didn't put up much of a fight or make any noise, to my heightened and enlightened disappointment.

I reached for the blonde girl's jeans and pulled them down like a father about to spank a mischievous child. She didn't have underwear; her skinny ass was exposed to the world.

"Well lookit that," BobBobBob said, standing next to me.

HoHoHo was giggling and pointing- "She has a dirty butt! Hey, girl, don't you ever clean your butt?"

Oscar and Tito had the other girl shoved down safely; Kia joined us to look at the blonde girl and her ass.

"Fuck her," Kia said to me, mouth close to my ear, "fuck her shit."

"It won't bother you?" I asked.

"It's not love," and she kissed me with all the joy of the Jellyfish, "it's not like what we have. And I want to see you hurt her. I want to see her abused."

It's all within the Jellyfish, but Kia knew this. BobBobBob and HoHoHo put their weight on the hood to keep the blonde in place, who was still trying to get free like some insect in a jar. I took a condom out of my pocket-you gotta have safe sex in these times, even when the Jellyfish are on your side. I pulled out my now hard cock from my pants and slipped the rubber on, looking at Kia to make sure this was still okay with her. She was drooling like some imp and nodding her head and telling me yes yes yes as the Jellyfish whispered into my ear: yes yes yes.

-so I got behind the girl and grabbed her hips and spread her ass and shoved it deep into her crevice, first missing the hole, but finding it, having trouble with no lubrication, and then push came to shove and I was deep inside the blonde who was sucking off the engine of her dead car and I heard her scream which made the Jellyfish cheer and give me high fives from their celestial, godly positions.

The blonde girl, at last, stopped trying to fight me because she knew it was useless. She started to pee and that made Kia chortle-Kia reached down to touch this piss of fear with her naked hand, bringing the hand to her face and licking it, tasting, saying, "She doesn't eat well, does she?"

When I pulled out, there was shit all over my dick. Good thing I had the condom on, yes, so I peeled that condom off, shit and all, and put it on the roof of the car. I winced.

"Me next," BobBobBob said, holding his cock in hand. I kept my weight on the hood, which was on the girl-she wasn't fighting so much now, her ass leaking runny shit and blood. As BobBobBob sodomized her, Kia and HoHoHo rummaged through the car and the trunk looking for things to play with. You had to adore them, those silly kids.

BobBobBob finished; he wasn't wearing a rubber because he was a much riskier kind of dude than me, and he said, "Oh, man, she shit all over my dick, that's really sick," and laughed.

I released the girl. She slumped to the ground. She spat out several teeth and looked up, face covered in blood, tears, and engine grease. "You guys are very annoying," she muttered.

"I'll show you annoying," Kia said, taking the shit-covered condom from the hood and shoving it into the blonde girl's mouth. "Have a taste of yourself, dearie. Now that is rude."

The girl spat out the condom and just stared at it.

"Looky what I found," HoHoHo said, her head in the trunk. She came out with a crowbar.

"Oh joy!" said Kia.

In rapt astonishment, BobBobBob and I and the Jellyfish from Space watched as Kia and HoHoHo went to work on the girl with the crowbar. They made her suck-off the crowbar with a broken mouth, and forced it as deep as they could in the girl's cunt and ass. Our squeezes were quite playful this night, and O it was a joy to watch, my nimble and bouncy poptarts.

-in all this excitement, I had forgotten about Oscar and Tito, our sweet lovebirds. I turned to where they were and smiled and touched BoBobBob's shoulder. BobBobBob glanced away from what the girls were up to-women always being up to something-to see what our pals had done.

They had dissected the other girl like a frog in Biology 101 class. The redhead lay with her body cavity wide open, intestines and bones and other things opened to the world. Her eyes looked blankly at the night sky-maybe toward the Jellyfish, who observed all.

"What a night," I said, "and it's only begun."


-and how obvious it was, O my enthralled and beloved dingleberries, as we got back into the car, leaving the scene behind us like a passing billboard, that we had to take more acid, which we did, in ritualistic manner, two hits apiece, because we needed more; if we were going to continue into the night, we needed to get closer to the Jellyfish.

"The Jellyfish are pleased," I said. The Clan nodded and said yes yes yes: Jellyfish!

BobBobBob was driving fast again and we were just driving all over the place listening to various tunes and singing along and wondering what the Jellyfish Web would bring us to next when we were pulled over by the cops. Motherfucking pigs-but it seemed inevitable: it was the will of the-


Personal Reality Essay:
The True Existence of the Jellyfish
by Me

One always asks: Who/what/where/why and how are the Jellyfish? Ask not what you can do for the Jellyfish, but what the Jellyfish can do for you. They do, however, love it when you take their humble advice.

From darkness and chaos came the Jellyfish. When the Universe had no shape or meaning, the Jellyfish arose from the Abyss of Nothing and said: Yo, let there be some planets populated by sentient beings, and there were, and it was good, and the Jellyfish were pleased with what they did.

On our planet, what we call Earth, only a select few, gathered together, know of and understand the true existence of the Jellyfish; these clans have existed since the Jellyfish turned monkeys into men and the wheel was invented and fire was used for good and bad purposes. Adam knew of the Jellyfish, because they had told the serpent to talk to Eve and do her Eve-thing that makes women what they are today. Jesus, too, knew of the Jellyfish, but he rejected the Jellyfish for another deity that he deemed to be his father. Mohammed knew of the Jellyfish, but he too ignored their true being. It seems fitting that the masses of the world latch onto one religion or another-Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Satanism-and only a select clan here and there attach themselves to the real truth, the truth of the Jellyfish.

High in the night sky sit the Jellyfish, swimming around the various worlds they have had a cnidocyte in creating. As they revolve around worlds, worlds revolve around them. The Jellyfish control everything, but few know it, and the Jellyfish like it that way.

The Jellyfish are not random in who they choose to release the knowledge of their existence. They are careful, and want to make sure. This is why they chose me, their obvious Messiah for the coming of a new age. One night they came to me, into my mind, and showed me their beginnings, showed me what and who they were, and showed me the true nature of reality. Only through the constant use of mind-alternation, like LSD, could I really connect with the Jellyfish, because my mind, shaped and formed by the society I grew up in, had been thwarted so that it was hard to commune with my New Gods.

Really, though, they are not New Gods, but Old Gods, the Oldest Gods of them all. Because the Jellyfish had emerged from blackness, disorder, and the fear of nothingness, they strive on those exact things to maintain their strength. They Jellyfish are not pleased with our evolution, with our structures of society, morality, and humanitarianism. They like our wars, but even the wars are not enough, for with each war is an attached ideology or justification. Why not do as the Jellyfish do: let us kill each other for no good fucking reason, let's just do it to do it and while we're at it, let's have a little fun!

At the crux of the matter, the Jellyfish are joyous entities that like some fun now and then. The Jellyfish have a sense of humor, yet there is also a wrath that knows no realms.

Soon the Jellyfish will make their way and more and more people on this planet, and other planets too I imagine, will become aware of the Jellyfish: their origins, their Web which conducts our lives, and their final plan for us all.

They have chosen me to be their Messiah, my timid and hungry puppies, and that is why I am here before you today. To prepare you for the day of Rapture when the Jellyfish surround our world and engulf it.


-so the cops-two of them, because they liked to travel in twos-came around each side of the car, flashing their lights in on us like pigs like to do.

"Driving rather fast," the one by BobBobBob said.

"Yeah," he giggled, "the Jellyfish like it when we drive fast."

I nodded with approval for that obvious tip o' the hat.

"License, registration, insurance," the cop recited like a hymnal.

The other cop had his light on the rest of us in back. A weird look spread upon his face when he saw Oscar and Tito huddled next to each other. "You kids wouldn't be drinking, now would you? Or doing drugs?"

"Oh no," BobBobBob said, getting his paperwork from the glove compartment, "we wouldn't be doing anything like that."

The acid was hitting us very strong at this point in time and space.

"Eeeks!" went HoHoHo. "Are we going to go to jail?"

"Nahh," said BobBobBob, "I'm just getting a speeding ticket."

"Why don't you all step out for a minute," the cop on HoHoHo's side said.

HoHoHo started to cry.

"It'll be all right," I whispered, "nothing can stop us as long as the Jellyfish are on our side."

We all got out, and I began to have the fear. O my moral and righteous hobgoblins, I know this may seem blasphemous, but I began to have my doubts. The thought of jail frightened me like the occasional disconnection from the celestial Jellyfish, those moments when the world ceases to make any sense and all I want to do is slash my wrists, keep slashing until there is nothing left of time; maybe cut my wrists right off, so that I would have no hands, and bleed my way to the Elysium of the Jellyfish. For you see, I had already done a year in prison for assault on a police officer. I cannot tell you how much I hate pigs, and the Jellyfish always tell me to hate them, for pigs represent everything the Jellyfish, and I, detest about this world. The pigs are icons of control-where the Jellyfish, from Chaos, embrace the lack of control. Yes, my little ones, I had done time, and how I hated it there, how I crawled into myself and prayed and talked to the Jellyfish, the Jellyfish telling me everything would be okay and one day I would be free again and would deliver my message into the world for them. This is what ultimately kept me together while in prison, this knowledge, as I dealt with the day to day routine of incarceration, the segregation of races, the whites lead by their "representative," the Hispanics, the blacks, the chinks, the Jews, by theirs. And here I was on three hits of bad-ass acid and thinking about the fellow in A Clockwork Orange and how They had incarcerated him and how his society had played with his true nature and fucked him all up trying to assimilate him back into a fucked-up culture. All he was trying to be was himself-like I am myself; I'm sure that guy in the movie had his own small connection to the truth and the way of the Jellyfish: he must have had some of that code, because he knew like I knew, he understood what true freedom and joy were, what they meant, and no one could ever "cure" it out of him. So, like I was saying, O my smart and final field rodents, I had this sudden urge to run, to flee, afraid what these two pigs might do to me-like put me back inside, where I would have no freedom, where I would have to go through the routine of the captured, and go back into myself and my Jellyfish dreams. I didn't want the dreams, I wanted the cold hard reality, and the Jellyfish knew this. O but why did I have these doubts-so fleeting, so quick-and deep down I asked the Jellyfish to forgive me. After all, I was on a mission, their mission, and they would make sure that nothing got in my way to deliver their code unto the world.

Kia began to freak. "Officers, help!" she said. "These people are psychopaths! They forced me to come along with them! They're kooky and crazy and I'm being held against my will!"

O she was good, my darling, crying and wigging-out and making a spectacle, but not once did I believe she betrayed us, or that the acid was getting to her, because she was smart and tough and communed well with the Jellyfish and I knew she had a Plan.

While the one pig was checking BobBobBob's paperwork, the other looked at Kia and said, "Say what, Ms.?"

"Please help me," she sobbed, "they're criminals and homosexuals. They raped me and made me eat shit. Help me, I beg of you!"

"Okay, step away from the others," the cop said, his hand hovering over his gun. "Come here."

She was timid, and she gave him her big watery eyes and best innocent look so that the cop felt manly, felt that he'd saved a girl from lunatics; and so she went to him, and maybe he was thinking she would be grateful and suck his cock or something and he smiled at her and said, "Everything will be all right," and Kia said, "Oh I know," as she jumped-fast she was-for him, and grabbed his gun, a revolver, pulling it out, and shooting the pig's fucking face off. She shoots, she scores! High-five for my Kia, and the Jellyfish cheered from their VIP seats to this show.

Before the other pig could get his hands on his own gun, Kia had the pistol pointed his way.

"Don't do it, piggy," she hissed, "or you're dead, dood."

"Now, Miss, put that down," the cop said.

"Ha ha ha," I said.

"Ho ho ho," said HoHoHo.

I approached the cop, who didn't know what to do.

"I'll kill you like your friend here if you make a move," Kia told him.

"I'm going to take your gun," I said, and did. It was a fine Baretta nine millimeter, not the kind pigs usually carry. I flicked off the safety. "Time to do society a favor," and I put the gun to the pig's temple and pulled that darn trigger twice, and O how good did it feel, my hopping and frolicking hasenpfeffers!


-and so it began with: "We're cop-killers," that was how BobBobBob broke the silence.

"Ain't it nice," I said, looking at the headless pigs.

"Wwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Kia danced around the cop car.

"I don't know about this," BobBobBob said.

"Oh," said HoHoHo, confused.

Oscar and Tito were kissing.


"No, no . . ." BobBobBob didn't look well.

"Let's be cops," Kia said to me.

I knew something was going wrong here-


-and so Kia and I stripped the pig clothes off the dead pigs and took off our clothes and put theirs on. The clothes were baggy but we looked like pigs now. We were infiltrating the system and the Jellyfish were pleased; they were not pleased, however, with the attitude BobBobBob was taking.

"They would've given me a ticket and let us go," he was saying. "How could they ever know we'd dropped acid? I mean, they didn't know what we'd done back there, the girls. This is different, I'm telling you. Those two whores we offed-no one would care, they were white thrash, who cares? But these are pigs, officers, cops-every cop around here is going to be hunting us down. They have their own code to their clan, and when one of them, two of them, gets offed, they all go nuts, they become mean with viscous teeth! We're doomed, I tell you."

"This is bad," Kia tsk-tsk-tsked.

I started to understand now how the fellow in A Clockwork Orange must've felt when his clanmates started to drift away from him. What a horrible, horrible, feeling.

"I don't like the sound of this, BobBobBob," I said.

Oscar and Tito held each other close, knowing there might be a confrontation.

"I'm scared," BobBobBob said, "that's all."

"You doubt the Jellyfish?"

"No! I have never doubted the Jellyfish! You have shown us-you are the way, the truth, you are the bullet that bites. But . . ."

"It's okay." HoHoHo went to her man to comfort him. She looked worried. I couldn't blame her. Kia and I had the guns and the uniforms. We were the pigs now. HoHoHo said to me, "Maybe it's the fry, he's having a bad fry. He has paranoias."

"Yes," BobBobBob said in a whimper, "that's it."

"This is the story, my slow and dim-witted buckaroos," I said. "We are going into the world as pigs now, Kia and I. We're taking this pig car and we're gonna ride around like pigs and hide behind our badges and guns and really do some fucking damage. So the question is, my buddy BobBobBob: are you with us, or are you not with us? Answer true, for the Jellyfish watch and listen as we speak now, and they'll know if you are lying."

"I'm with you," BobBobBob said softly. "I'm with you all the way."

"Good," but I had this feeling he might be lying-the Jellyfish were relaying this to me.

Oscar and Tito got in back of the squad car as Kia and your humble story-teller took the front seat, me behind the wheel, forming our personas as pigs. BobBobBob and HoHoHo were in his car. I started the pig car up, turning off the flashing whirling pretty lights, and began to drive. I looked in the rearview, making sure BobBobBob was following. There was tension in the pig car, but I smiled when seeing BobBobBob following us. He was there for about a mile, keeping up pace, but suddenly veered off when we got near a freeway onramp. He was leaving us, he and HoHoHo. . .

"They're dead," I said to all, because the Jellyfish told me so.


-and how can I ever explain to you the deep sadness and sense of betrayal I felt, O my wicked and beguiled ninnies, that I had now lost two of my Clan? There was a break, and the Jellyfish were angry.

"KILL THOSE FUCKERS!" Kia screamed.

"In due time," I told her, "in due time."

There was still more to the night.

-and so we did what pigs do, we pulled people over and fucked with them.


-which was a skinny middle-aged guy with thick glasses in an old jalopy. We came up behind him just mosyin' along the road like he didn't have a care in the world. I couldn't figure out how to switch on the siren and lights because I was so wiped out on the acid by this time and listening to the Jellyfish singing sweet songs at the tip on my brain damage and Kia had to find the proper switches for me, which were right before my crazed eyes, and on went those pretty twirly lights and the WOO WOO from the siren, just two short blasts, and I got on the intercom and said, "Hey, you pull over right now!" and it was such a nice feeling. I was starting to see pigs in a different light-now I knew why they liked being pigs, having this power trip. But this was just the beginning, oh yes!-and how Oscar and Tito were just giggling up a stormin' normin' back there and suddenly I was getting this feeling that the two of them were really getting on my nerves. I adjusted my pig hat and stepped out of the car and so did Kia but she held back, and I took out the pig's gun and went to the middle-aged man who was looking frightened.

"O-officer, what-what's wrong?" he said.

"Get out of the car, sir," I said, trying to sound as real as possible.

"What did I-"

"GET OUT NOW!" I waved the pig gun just as the Jellyfish were telling me to.

Shaking and on the verge of tears, the man-wearing an old suit and rain coat-came out of the car, his hands up. This is a mistake, Officer."

Tito and Oscar were dancing around and giggling and I knew for sure they were getting on my fucking nerves now. I looked at this man and hated him with all the might of the universe. I don't know why, but I just hated him, and that's all there was to it.

"I-I was-wasn't speeding or a-anything," this man said. "Th-there must be some k-kind of-of muh-mistake here . . ."

"That's just it," I said. "You weren't speeding! You were going too slow!"

Kia came to my side, her gun out, grinning with all the Jellyfish feelers squirming in her lithe body.

"You gotta drive fast, man!" I told him. "Can't have you slow motherfuckers cluttering up the world like this."

"I duh-don't . . . un-understand." The man looked at me and Kia, and then the dancing Oscar and Tito.

"OSCAR!" I yelled.

Oscar looked at me.

"Get your faggoty ass over here, boy."

Oscar did as told, looking confused, leaving an even more confused Tito behind.

"Stand right there," I told Oscar, pointing to the ground at the middle-aged man's feet.

Oscar nodded.

"Drop your pants."

Oscar looked at me.

"Do it."

Oscar shrugged, knowing that whatever I tell him must be direct mandate from the Jellyfish-so he unzipped his pants and allowed them to drop to his ankles. He didn't have underwear, his cock and balls were exposed, thin brown legs full of hair.

"My Lord," the middle-aged man said, "what the hell is going on here?"

"What's going on," I said, "is that you're going to get to your knees and suck this fellow off."

The man glared at me like I wasn't real.

I pointed the pig gun at him. "You do it or else I'll just shoot your motherfucking head with every bullet in this baby."

"You c-can't be . . ."

But he knew it to be true, and I saw Kia had a wicked grin.

Oscar just stared at me.

I gave him a look: Do as I say.

"On your knees," I told the man, the gun close to his head.

Slowly, he went to his knees. He was too far from Oscar. I motioned Oscar to get closer. Oscar's semi-hard cock was in front of the man's face.

I said, "Blow him."

Kia laughed so loud it echoed around us.

"Puh-please," the man said, "I-I never . . ."

I put the nozzle of the pig gun right to his head.

Crying, the man opened his mouth and took Oscar.

"Do it!" Kia said. "Suck that come out, you old fart!"

The man wasn't doing a very good job of it. He gagged, he pulled away. "Oh!" he sobbed. "I can't!"

"I know," I said, and fired.

The bullet took half his head off, all kinds of nifty shit spraying about. The Jellyfish jumped up from the seats and cried for JOY!


-so I knew things were going wrong, as far as Oscar and Tito were concerned anyway. They were huddled together in back, kissing and holding each other. I could feel it coming off Tito: he didn't like me making the man suck off on his lover. Well, fuck him. Fuck them both. I couldn't stand looking at them in the rearview. I stopped the pig car and turned around, watching them kiss. They looked at me. "Fuck this shit," I said, and shot them both.

"What a mess back there," Kia said, inspecting it.

"Yeah," I said, putting a new clip into the Baretta.


-so we just left the dead faggots on the side of the road and continued our way driving around with the Jellyfish singing to us. It was just us now.

"Just you and me, Kia," I said.

She took my hand.

"The Clan is gone," I said, and felt very sad.

"We can build a new one," she said, kissing my cheek, the smell of death on us both (and it was good). "We can build a better Clan, with more secret codes, codes that will never be broken."


-and O my twitching and squirming little magpies, how I felt this sudden, horrible, ugly sense of doom, again. I just couldn't shake it. I asked the Jellyfish to make it go away. It was when I saw the parked police car at a convenience store that I knew just how to get the hee-bee-jee-bies to scat. "Looky there," said I to Kia, "pigs."

"Oink oink oink" she snorted.

We pulled into the convenience store parking lot, so dark out now like the end of a movie, after the credit roll; we parked right next to the pig car. We saw the lone pig, a blonde fellow who didn't look that much older than we were-he was inside, contemplating milk cartons or something to buy. Poor fellow was hungry, was he, and the Jellyfish said:

***Make him hungry no more***

Kia and I got out, our pig hats on, hoisting up our pig guns and smiling like pigs like to smile when they're going in for the kill. O, we knew our enemies well, yes we did, my hearty listeners, and we could play their parts just as good as they.

So Kia and I walked into the store and the clerk, a black fellow, just looked at us like he was bored and I couldn't blame him really, but bored no more would he be.

The young blonde cop, maybe just a recent rookie pig now on the force, turned and saw us. He smiled, thinking us comrades, brothers of his own secret clan of secret codes, and then the smile went away. There was something wrong-he knew: maybe it was the blood, or that we just didn't look quite right as pigs. But I had my gun out on him, and so did Kia- hers on the clerk-before the young blonde pig could even open his mouth.

"What the . . ." is about all he could say, dropping the burrito he was going to buy.

"I believe in doing good for my society," said I, "I believe that we all have to contribute to the general welfare of society; being a member of said society, of course. The best thing I believe that I can do for my society is to off a pig. Since I offed two pigs this fine night, wiping out three would pretty much give me a whole helluva lot of good karma."

"Who are you?" the young blonde pig said.

"Just a concerned American," I said, blowing off his face. He wasn't all that blonde anymore. Kia shot the clerk twice.

I walked toward the pig's body, which was convulsing. I'll be-he wasn't quite dead yet.

"The Jellyfish know," I said softly, "that we should line all the pigs up and slaughter them. It's the only way to make the world a cleaner place to raise children in."

One more bullet was all it took.


-and how marvelous, I thought, the way the Jellyfish work in our lives, the way they weave their Web, that interconnection of events and circumstances. So there Kia and I were, driving around and looking for other ways to protect and serve our tax payers, when lo and behold do we drive up behind a fast-driving car, which is the same car as BobBobBob's. I saw their heads in those seats, as Kia saw them, and we both looked at each other and nodded like puppets.

You know who the puppet masters are-need I spell it out for you?

-and O my drunken and slobbering little swabies, how Kia and I looked at each other then and there and truly knew that the jellyfish did control everything with their intricate Web. Kia reached to turn on the lights and sirens. We had the fuckers now. I got on the intercom and yelled, "Pull over to the side of the road now!" Gee, not only did I sound like a pig, I really felt like one. I was going to make the world a better place for real.

I was about to wonder if BobBobBob would pull over but he did. Kia and I kissed, we had our guns out, and we rushed from the pig car and surrounded the criminal's car pointing our guns and telling them to slowly step away from the vehicle with their arms up.

BobBobBob and HoHoHo, looking rather confused, did as they were told. They were both shivering and I didn't blame them -- they should've been shivering, knowing what their fate had to be.

"We were looking for you," BobBobBob said.

"Likely story," I said.

"She talked me into coming back," he nodded at HoHoHo who was nodding like saying yes I did, "I made a mistake, it was a quick error, I..." And he looked at the pig car and saw that there was blood all over the backseats.

He looked at me and Kia.

HoHoHo began to cry.

"We can talk about this," BobBobBob said.

"You betrayed us," I said, "and you betrayed the Jellyfish."

"It's not what you think," he said.

"There's no talking your way out of this one," I said.

"Please!" HoHoHo said, and looked at Kia. "Kia..."

"You've fallen from grace," Kia said.

There was a long silent moment, the kind in movies, which is broken by some kind of soundtrack.

"Please don't," was all BobBobBob could say.

I don't know, if he was a talker, he may have been able to yak himself out of it. But he was just looking at me, looking stupid-and the same for his whore-so I just started shooting, O yes I did my cloaked and daggered little catholic nuns, and so did Kia, and we emptied our guns into our old friends turned Benedict Arnolds until we were just clicking away with cobalt smell all around and no bullets left. BobBobBob and HoHoHo's dead and bleeding bodies lay on the ground and I went to BobBobBob and spat on him.

"You deny the truth," I said, "and the truth just kills you."

Just then it all came into focus for me, and for Kia, as she came to my side to spit as well, and we were close, and O my ribald and debauched salamanders, Kia and I began to spit on each other, we spat in each other's mouths, and we began to attack one another, tearing off the pig uniforms, getting naked, falling onto the hood of BobBobBob's car, Kia saying, "I want you, I want you, FUCK ME NOW," and I took her there on the hood of that car, her legs on my shoulders, her ass in my hands, her spit flying at me, my cock inside of her body, O the fiery reign of the cnidocytes! Yes, indeed, my true ones with true ears listening to me now, as Kia and I fucked-that last time we would ever fuck-it all became so clear, clear like the beginning of this night when we stepped out of the movie theater, how this evening would come to its close, the way the film would end (for now, until the sequel) because the Jellyfish were telling me what to do-they were transmitting the secret code to me as I fucked Kia, and who am I not to listen to orders handed down from Gods? I did as I was commanded-I reached for Kia, for her face, my hands moving down, grabbing her neck, tightening my grip. Never once did she try to fight me, never once did she stop her frantic fuck with me, and so my grip tightened, squeezed all the more, Kia coming on my cock, and losing her breath, and eventually losing her life so that I had a hard cock in the body of a dead lover. She was dead, yes, I knew death well, I could spot it anywhere, and she looked so much finer in death than she had in life. I continued to fuck her, my hands off her neck, her body limp on BobBobBob's car, BobBobBob and HoHoHo on the ground bleeding and dead, the Jellyfish singing high above, the world closing in on a new day, another day to cure the world-

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